It’s okay to feel guilty
Families raising a disabled or seriously ill child are often all too familiar with feelings of guilt. Whether that is feeling guilty for reaching out for the help they so desperately need, or from struggling to split their time equally between their children. We spoke to the families we support about how they can feel.
‘I had such mum guilt’
Three-year-old Eve lives near Edinburgh with her sister, Olivia, and her mum and dad, Rebecca and George. Rebecca says, “Eve has microduplication syndrome and suspected autism. She often can’t tell us what she needs, or express her emotions. This causes her to lash out and become angry. A meltdown is sometimes her only way of coping. Sometimes I had to warn other parents and children about playing with her.”
Rebecca spoke about how difficult it can be taking Eve out of the house. “If we went to soft play, I had to follow her everywhere to make sure other parents and children were safe. It was the hardest time, because I had such mum guilt when I’d leave her at home with George. But I had to give Olivia the experiences of being able to play with other children”.
Rebecca received a grant for sensory toys from Family Fund. She says, “The sensory corner calms Eve down so much. Olivia and Eve have their own space now and some days, Eve will lie in front of the bubble lamp for ages. We wouldn’t have been able to invest in these if it wasn’t for Family Fund.”
‘Some times of the year are harder than others’
20-year-old Lisa and 18-year-old Arthur live near Lisburn in Northern Ireland. Their mum, Hannah, spoke about some times of the year being more difficult than others.
“The lead up to Christmas is full of dread. It’s just so expensive. I remember one year sitting in the living room and looking at their small pile of presents, feeling so guilty. I thought of other families’ homes, covered in decorations and piles of presents. But my kids need toys that suit their needs, and they are too expensive.”
Hannah spoke about how helpful Family Fund had been over the years. “That’s why Family Fund is such a huge help. As well as granting us a family break and a mattress, one year I wrapped up a specially adapted iPad that I received from Family Fund just before Christmas. Their faces just lit up! They still use it every day to learn, write and discover fun facts on”.
You can provide a lifeline to families today
By donating to Family Fund, you can provide items that families need most, when they need them most. Your support lifts the weight off worry and feelings of guilt from families. Support Family Fund today. Thank you.